Axe

Personal joke: this is about a thing that happened to me, from me, on Halloween.

What happened? Gee, I, don’t know.

The bottom of what happened revolves around my psychotropic shot, and that’s a word that means “changes the way you think” and this is not something I would-do/would’ve-done off meds (it has to do with anhedonia as a side effect of the meds, which means diminished enjoyment and the greater measures taken from longing for enjoyment because of the deficit, etc.). My meds almost make me crazier given this incident.

Haldol Decanoate causes anhedonia…

The story is I got my big fat arm stuck in this weird crevice doing some much needed cleaning of dust and dirt down there and I almost had to chew it off like that Aron Ralston movie.

April 25th, 2016 – Hyrdoxycut Pro Clinical Review

This stuff is awesome!

You aren’t supposed to take it with coffee or other caffeine. I do.

You may notice I’m constantly b*tching about my outpatient-commitment involuntary bipolar meds (redundantly!). This diet pills is how I self medicate for that crappy shot. I prefer this Pro Clinical, but it only keeps me sane on this Haldol shot. I’ve actually lost weight when I take SX-7. I can’t handle that kind though.

I don’t take this stuff off-meds. I can’t even handle Mtn. Dew, off meds.

So I showed this box to my concerned therapist Doug at East Central, and he says it’s basically the chemical equivalent of coffee wrapped in candy coating, after reading the ingredients.

April 14, 2016 – Eviction From My Home of Five Years

Maintenance man, Chris at Columbus Place, Columbus, was in my apartment shouting like an angry meth head, figuratively or possibly literally given his behavior. All I did was take down my blinds which was apparently against the lease in small print I had forgotten about years ago. Chris wasn’t even working there at the time. He probably doesn’t even work there now.

This sounds like a funny story, but I don’t even talk to people in this building. Confrontation is way out of my comfort zone. I raised a fist at him and backed him out while he was still shouting at me, and my knees wear shaking with utter fear as I did this. (fight or flight) But I called the cops on him and lost my apartment.

I’m not your dad Chris. God knows who is. You were in my home.

I should have been shouting at him if I had the courage to speak up about the building during his 1 year as maintenance man.

Look at his work.

He left me without hot water all winter and without a whole home in the summer.

He came in my apartment to spray and wipe stuff, which is something I do anyway.

My Dad’s House 24.7 Feb2016

This is what the basement looked like in 2010, when I lived in my dad’s basement. I kept it mostly clean. The basement was my workout room and office for the most part. It must be nice.


But click continue reading to see…

This post contains some disturbing images of a messy house. Continue only if you feel like it.

Continue reading “My Dad’s House 24.7 Feb2016”

LOL, my Book Review of WRAP


I’d like to think that I’m not too illiterate that I can still read a book when I need to (I mean I can read an online PHP manual), but I’ve got a copy of this book four times in mental hospitals since 2006 and I just don’t get it. This is the IRL equivalent of “Wish It! Want It! Do It!” the book written by Brian the dog in Family Guy S9E6. I mean most of the pages are even left blank for you to fill in; that’s real.

I’ve got the red WRAP, which means it’s issued for mental illness only as opposed to the blue WRAP which is for alcoholics and junkies (not to be confused with the AA Big Blue Book). I honestly hate this too. This book equates mental illness to addiction as if it’s something that needs to be coached out of you. I actually like the idea of coaching illness out of you except this says take your medications. I’m not an anti Big Pharma conspiracy nut, but I have been on these medications long enough to know that they are no treatment; there is nothing in science that can treat behavior and thought humanely. I mean I’m 300 lbs right now.

They preach this book in mental hospitals and adult daycares, in actual groups, that I’ve been forced in participating in and it’s a far more rambling vaguery and super-confident delusion of grandiose than the mental patients who are forced to practice it. On top of that it’s like everybody who reads it is so confused by it that they just make up their own meaning that is twice as confusing as the book itself.

Happy New Year 2014

This is backdated, but pretend I’m blogging while I’m still locked inside LRC. I made this cute baby thing in Decemeber and it got a compliment from the cute girl tech staff so I got proud and taped it up outside my bedroom.

So there was this guy, not to blog about other people’s business, but he wasn’t supposed to be on my safe patients’ unit because he was dangerous as heck, but he got into a fight with a patient on his own dangerous patients’ unit and they had to keep him on my unit because the guy he fought with made a death threat on his life. This dude made things real disruptive, that’s all I’m going to write about him.

So I had this hanging up and that guy was throwing a fit like usual and he spit a mouthful of his drinking water on it. Shame.

I invented my MLP OC in LRC












Black pens are contraband. This was my six month blue period Aug 2013 to Feb 2014. I was in LRC for playing with my cellphone to my community support worker who has no sense to ignore the text ramblings of a manic insomniac. I’m not blaming the text message victim; there is no victim. She’s literally paid to be my friend and baby sitter at the Rainbow Center adult daycare.