From the state mental hospital, to the Psych.Res. Rehab.
Psych.Res. Rehab is big in Nebraska. I don’t know why. It’s a 1/2 restricted, residential, drug treatment house/apartment, for normal people (not drug users), and the intent is to get the normal people sober from their natural brain chemistry. That means, I’m classified as “mentally ill & dangerous” and I’ll never be allowed to live off of monthly injections again, that cause serious facial motor problems and/or all the complications of living with a tinkered, foreign brain chemistry…
I don’t know why, but I’m starting to believe them.
I’ll have much blogging for recovery, to do in future, but right now I’m just leaving this post to let people (anyone?) know I’m back. This is a public computer. I don’t feel safe logging into my email and WordPress. I saw a 40+ year old looking man, here, playing Gaiaonline, yesterday. I don’t feel safe.
Hello Brittany and Nathanial!
Thanks to ^ for getting me out of LRC! I hope that place doesn’t turn you into the treatment monsters of the older employees there.
I have much curating to do, here!
Nobody is reading this…
Mass Post Features is broken again, probably. I can’t really test/fix it on a public computer. Please bare with me for up to a year to recover my life and doing things.
I know about AA and HP, but I need something more like a TotallyCluelessAndPoverty+A.
Youtube indi-artists, free music, made this little scanning blog video 100% cooler.
I still don’t know what to do.
In AA, HP means any spiritual higher power. I’ve grown to hate alcohol since before I even turned 21 and I’m now 33, but it seems I might should look up these AA meetings for something to do, because the treatment for mental illness enforced by an actual doctor and the law even backs said doctor, that treatment it damages my body and mind in a level reminiscent to my high school drinking years. (weight gain, diminished thought, stifled creativity, and all over permanent depression, from these intramuscular psych-medications that, God help me, I wish I could refuse.)
You aren’t supposed to take it with coffee or other caffeine. I do.
You may notice I’m constantly b*tching about my outpatient-commitment involuntary bipolar meds (redundantly!). This diet pills is how I self medicate for that crappy shot. I prefer this Pro Clinical, but it only keeps me sane on this Haldol shot. I’ve actually lost weight when I take SX-7. I can’t handle that kind though.
I don’t take this stuff off-meds. I can’t even handle Mtn. Dew, off meds.
So I showed this box to my concerned therapist Doug at East Central, and he says it’s basically the chemical equivalent of coffee wrapped in candy coating, after reading the ingredients.
I’d like to think that I’m not too illiterate that I can still read a book when I need to (I mean I can read an online PHP manual), but I’ve got a copy of this book four times in mental hospitals since 2006 and I just don’t get it. This is the IRL equivalent of “Wish It! Want It! Do It!” the book written by Brian the dog in Family Guy S9E6. I mean most of the pages are even left blank for you to fill in; that’s real.
I’ve got the red WRAP, which means it’s issued for mental illness only as opposed to the blue WRAP which is for alcoholics and junkies (not to be confused with the AA Big Blue Book). I honestly hate this too. This book equates mental illness to addiction as if it’s something that needs to be coached out of you. I actually like the idea of coaching illness out of you except this says take your medications. I’m not an anti Big Pharma conspiracy nut, but I have been on these medications long enough to know that they are no treatment; there is nothing in science that can treat behavior and thought humanely. I mean I’m 300 lbs right now.
They preach this book in mental hospitals and adult daycares, in actual groups, that I’ve been forced in participating in and it’s a far more rambling vaguery and super-confident delusion of grandiose than the mental patients who are forced to practice it. On top of that it’s like everybody who reads it is so confused by it that they just make up their own meaning that is twice as confusing as the book itself.