Saw firetrucks heading out west tonight… I was too busy dancing and working out…
I hope a surge popped the modems and hard drives of my young imaginary enemies.
The crop circles are irrigation pivots.
The blurry dot is a rabbit (flip phone camera).
There are no motorized vehicles allowed on this trail, but think about the gravel spreader. It’s a mule, I just found out.
This walk equates to my 15 mile daily walk circumscribing Columbus 2011-2016. (Measured by Google Maps.)
I’m off my involuntary meds again and now I’ve got 70 nueroleptic lbs to burn again.
I about died! Shit! My hometown is dry like a desert and there are no Casey’s General Store every corner to hydrate. I got dizzy and passed out under tree and when I awoke I was walking the wrong way, because I ended up at the cemetery and I visited my mom’s grave, and it was like a sign from above, because there is a pump fountain near mom’s grave and I had to drink from it.
The road ahead!
In 2006 I got this ^ green yellow shirt from a walk for charity thing in this town, volunteering at the library. I wore the heck out of it after my parents had me sent to the city. All I’ve done is walk and blog for the past ten years, really.
I saw some alfalfa baling and thought it was hay (I am really out of shape on this! It’s hard to believe that I used to FFA range judge or that I even graduated out here, doing this stuff.). Hay, that’s going to be my job at dad’s in July.
It’s weird about doing this on a Mac without any special program.
I wrote this! 🙂
Long story short:
I only like to print from Preview.app and it does not do tile printing. (?)
Regardless that there are already many ways to do this, like with Acrobat Reader, I’ve decided to make my own online app to slice images for razor printing.
That’s where you slice/razor all the paper away and concatenate the inkjet prints into one big poster.
Just print “scale to paper” from Preview.app
I don’t know what to blog. I feel like I’ve had double my injection.
I was just getting over withdrawals of Abilify Maintena because my prescriber nurse wouldn’t taper me off it; been a wild week of mania and voices.
Now I feel like I’m still on the shot. Sucks…
I took my rock baby to see my mom’s grave on Memorial Day.
I call mom “guardian angel” in the title, because around the time after she died, I was told that I now have my own angel, by my grandma, who since is also now in heaven. Grandma also gave me an angel pin to remind me of this, and I wore it all the time, until it broke, but sure enough she gave me another one to replace it. It looks like Icarus. Rock!
Last night I had a dream that it was my birthday (I just turned 33 this month) and mom was there, but it was like she never had died. I wasn’t shocked to see her and I didn’t even remember her dying. She was taking pictures of me with a cake.
She died in 2009. I finally cried for the first time in 2012 and it went on for days. I can’t really describe the feeling before 2012. Now in 2017, I might be at acceptance. (though I mustered up a tear typing this)
Just taking some more portraits of my little rock girl. I think she’s a mythical clay golem, because it appears that she built a fort. So I have to do the daddy thing and snap some photos of my baby. If this sounds or looks weird: I have a doll for this, and you probably gave birth to real human kids simply for the same kind of showboating. I think that’s weird. My baby doesn’t even have to watch me die, because she’s an artificial parody of what everyone else in my generation is doing, and my baby is only to be ironic.
Her name is Hauvu. I named her after my roommate who didn’t speak English. I’m shy, and he didn’t know English so we didn’t have to talk. She looks like him too. I gave her the name the day I carried her home from Earl May’s.
sitting at the computer…
because it’s the only major thrill in my life…
clicking the mouse in the dark not really doing anything…
|Antipsychotics are doing this to me.
Off meds: I have so many ideas and creative impulses, that I have to write them all down and sketch thumbnails, so I do not forget them, and I could go for a walk and have 20 new projects for the week!
|This is me right now. I know it’s my antipsychotics. The only possible way out of the dark is to go off my meds.||I see my doctor/practitioner tomorrow. I hope I’ve compiled a convincing debate this past month.|
I’m constantly tweaking my Twentysixteen theme… something to do…
Adam Ruins Everything on College Humor, spelled out that blue used to be feminine, and pink used to mean manly, until Hitler Nazis invented the pink triangle badge, and the colors flipped from the world influence. I’m not really representing anything, other than aesthetic, anyway. Pretties.
I’ve been sleeping like a hibernating bear this week. It’s been cold, which incidentally also makes my apartment 79-85°F because of my neighbors’ generous heating.
My sleep schedule has been out of whack since I started the Abilify shot. It antagonizes/blocks dopamine, and dopamine is what keeps you paralyzed when you sleep. So I’ll be awake for 20-30 hours and sleep 14-18 hours, or else I’ll only be awake 2-6 hours and sleep 2-6 hours all day/night. My circadian rhythm is like a rollercoaster. Also lack of dopamine creates crazy dreams and sleep-walking.
So snow in late May/Spring: that’s kind of cool, literally; I don’t know what else to write about it.
In other news, I finally created a child WordPress theme of Twentysixteen. This is because every time there was a theme update, I had to re-apply all of my HTML/CSS changes. I finally created a theme that won’t reset itself.
In my late-20s-early-30s, when all my old friends and so-called family were posting pictures of their babies on Facebook like they were family pets, and everyone caught each-other’s breeder fever from this media phenomena, I went out and got a clay doll at Earl May’s, and carried her home on my back… (April 2016)
My first baby weighed 60 lbs at birth. Suck it!
Your magical pet baby has to live and watch you die and wander the Earth for a 21st century lifespan and this really sucks for your magical pet when he’s not a philosophical zombie like you. (you non-sentient)
I got this used eBay Kodak camera and half of the time the zoom breaks and there is a black ring around the photos in the corner and the picture looks fish-eyed. Today I was lucky enough to get it to work. The quality is not very good either, but I’m no photographer. I probably should have shut the ceiling fan off because it creates an epilepsy inducing strobe light effect with shadows and the camera’s light sensors probably didn’t read well. I’ll try again some other time.
I made this video in 2009 and just titled it the song I got from Youtube audio swap. 9k views since then!
(LOL, the views are for fans of the song which is not mine! nobody has liked videos ever since the early 1990’s)
I just made a Youtube video today that shows how to use it. 4 views in one hour so far.
This isn’t very much compared to the pros, but this is the best thing in my life right now.
Good morning (1pm morning). I’m depressed for about 3-6 hours heavily upon waking up. I have a few computer projects and even better yet hygiene and apartment housekeeping projects that I could be working on, but I can’t muster the motivation to work on them. Motivation is a fickle mistress. I’m teary-eyed sad, but I’m too numb to just burst into a big relieving cry; most of it just comes out my nose. All I can do rather is moan repeatedly.
I’m supposed to be taking 450mg of Wellbutrin XL (my third dose increase), but I quit taking it because all it does at this level is make me nauseous, dizzy, and bloated. I don’t think it helps with my depression either. No antidepressant can fight the neuroleptic emotional blight of involuntary antipsychotics.
So I realized that my economy GoDaddy hosting installed a free premium WordPress theme when I used their cPanel WP Installer. I couldn’t figure out how to mod it so I downgraded to the default Twentysixteen theme. I own a premium theme and I don’t even use it. Lavish!
The Twentyseventeen theme is a big flop. Who wants to look at an window-sized intro graphic and scroll it off each time? Twentyfifteen is all sidebar and if you use background images, it just clashes with everything. Twentysixteen is just about the optica of WordPress.