From the state mental hospital, to the Psych.Res. Rehab.
Psych.Res. Rehab is big in Nebraska. I don’t know why. It’s a 1/2 restricted, residential, drug treatment house/apartment, for normal people (not drug users), and the intent is to get the normal people sober from their natural brain chemistry. That means, I’m classified as “mentally ill & dangerous” and I’ll never be allowed to live off of monthly injections again, that cause serious facial motor problems and/or all the complications of living with a tinkered, foreign brain chemistry…
I don’t know why, but I’m starting to believe them.
I’ll have much blogging for recovery, to do in future, but right now I’m just leaving this post to let people (anyone?) know I’m back. This is a public computer. I don’t feel safe logging into my email and WordPress. I saw a 40+ year old looking man, here, playing Gaiaonline, yesterday. I don’t feel safe.
Hello Brittany and Nathanial!
Thanks to ^ for getting me out of LRC! I hope that place doesn’t turn you into the treatment monsters of the older employees there.
I have much curating to do, here!
Nobody is reading this…
Mass Post Features is broken again, probably. I can’t really test/fix it on a public computer. Please bare with me for up to a year to recover my life and doing things.
You might be thinking: What the heck gives you the right to rip flip-phone Push Box maps? I just made this for fun to see if I could make it. Actually if you research the game on Youtube, you’ll find many different Push Box versions with identical maps dating back to the original Japanese Sokoban 1981. That’s actually how I have to solve the hard ones, watching the identical map videos.
If a level is too hard, you can skip to any level by adding/changing the ?number at the end of the URL. It goes 0-14 where 15 is the win screen.
(Feb 2nd 2017 – I just added one line of CSS so the player doesn’t hide the goal spaces with his background color.)
This game uses base64-encoded images so the whole thing is portable. You can save the push_box.html and make any changes you want: add new levels or cheats or whatever. It might violate the spirit of the game to cheat and I assure you every level is passable, but some are even too hard for me.
The walls color is random. If you don’t like the certain color, you can reload and get a new color.
Feb 1st, 2017 (bumped to Feb 1st, 2018, because favorites)
I accidentally made your gmail a dot co instead of a dot com, and I tried to wish you a happy Canada day on the 2nd of July… July 7th… I want to die… jakeis.com “doing things”
Will Jake Jilg (me) get an Albinoblacksheep featured cartoon for the first time since 2008, this year in September? (fingers crossed!)
If not, we can always get a new (old) season of jakeis.com/germs going… It’s is my favorite self made web comics series (tooting my own horn). The universe is most definitely a toilet. If I posted germs to my landlord’s Facebook timeline, instead of army girl, maybe I’d still have an apartment.
I know about AA and HP, but I need something more like a TotallyCluelessAndPoverty+A.
Youtube indi-artists, free music, made this little scanning blog video 100% cooler.
I still don’t know what to do.
In AA, HP means any spiritual higher power. I’ve grown to hate alcohol since before I even turned 21 and I’m now 33, but it seems I might should look up these AA meetings for something to do, because the treatment for mental illness enforced by an actual doctor and the law even backs said doctor, that treatment it damages my body and mind in a level reminiscent to my high school drinking years. (weight gain, diminished thought, stifled creativity, and all over permanent depression, from these intramuscular psych-medications that, God help me, I wish I could refuse.)
MY HOMETOWN! (no more Lincoln, Columbus, Fremont, Omaha, etc. walking) I’m back! The old stomping grounds… or something…
The crop circles are irrigation pivots.
The cowboy’d black cattle get spooked when you are near, but those white ones just chill and sit there like horses.
The blurry dot is a rabbit (flip phone camera).
There are no motorized vehicles allowed on this trail, but think about the gravel spreader. It’s a mule, I just found out.
This walk equates to my 15 mile daily walk circumscribing Columbus 2011-2016. (Measured by Google Maps.)
I’m off my involuntary meds again and now I’ve got 70 nueroleptic lbs to burn again.
I about died! Shit! My hometown is dry like a desert and there are no Casey’s General Store every corner to hydrate. I got dizzy and passed out under tree and when I awoke I was walking the wrong way, because I ended up at the cemetery and I visited my mom’s grave, and it was like a sign from above, because there is a pump fountain near mom’s grave and I had to drink from it.
The road ahead!
In 2006 I got this ^ green yellow shirt from a walk for charity thing in this town, volunteering at the library. I wore the heck out of it after my parents had me sent to the city. All I’ve done is walk and blog for the past ten years, really.
I saw some alfalfa baling and thought it was hay (I am really out of shape on this! It’s hard to believe that I used to FFA range judge or that I even graduated out here, doing this stuff.). Hay, that’s going to be my job at dad’s in July.
EDIT: Seconds later, I realized I had to change some of the jQuery because it acted differently on my server, than in MAMP. It’s working now.
I already used this thing to make this ^ paper blackshirts skull out of four sheets of A4 letter paper, for my black curtain.
Just print “scale to paper” from Preview.app
I took my rock baby to see my mom’s grave on Memorial Day.
I call mom “guardian angel” in the title, because around the time after she died, I was told that I now have my own angel, by my grandma, who since is also now in heaven. Grandma also gave me an angel pin to remind me of this, and I wore it all the time, until it broke, but sure enough she gave me another one to replace it. It looks like Icarus. Rock!
Last night I had a dream that it was my birthday (I just turned 33 this month) and mom was there, but it was like she never had died. I wasn’t shocked to see her and I didn’t even remember her dying. She was taking pictures of me with a cake.
She died in 2009. I finally cried for the first time in 2012 and it went on for days. I can’t really describe the feeling before 2012. Now in 2017, I might be at acceptance. (though I mustered up a tear typing this)
Just taking some more portraits of my little rock girl. I think she’s a mythical clay golem, because it appears that she built a fort. So I have to do the daddy thing and snap some photos of my baby. If this sounds or looks weird: I have a doll for this, and you probably gave birth to real human kids simply for the same kind of showboating. I think that’s weird. My baby doesn’t even have to watch me die, because she’s an artificial parody of what everyone else in my generation is doing, and my baby is only to be ironic.
Her name is Hauvu. I named her after my roommate who didn’t speak English. I’m shy, and he didn’t know English so we didn’t have to talk. She looks like him too. I gave her the name the day I carried her home from Earl May’s.