Laying on the floor thoughts – #1

Good morning (1pm morning). I’m depressed for about 3-6 hours heavily upon waking up. I have a few computer projects and even better yet hygiene and apartment housekeeping projects that I could be working on, but I can’t muster the motivation to work on them. Motivation is a fickle mistress. I’m teary-eyed sad, but I’m too numb to just burst into a big relieving cry; most of it just comes out my nose. All I can do rather is moan repeatedly.

I’m supposed to be taking 450mg of Wellbutrin XL (my third dose increase), but I quit taking it because all it does at this level is make me nauseous, dizzy, and bloated. I don’t think it helps with my depression either. No antidepressant can fight the neuroleptic emotional blight of involuntary antipsychotics.

So I realized that my economy GoDaddy hosting installed a free premium WordPress theme when I used their cPanel WP Installer. I couldn’t figure out how to mod it so I downgraded to the default Twentysixteen theme. I own a premium theme and I don’t even use it. Lavish!

The Twentyseventeen theme is a big flop. Who wants to look at an window-sized intro graphic and scroll it off each time? Twentyfifteen is all sidebar and if you use background images, it just clashes with everything. Twentysixteen is just about the optica of WordPress.